Update – April 8, 2019

Update – April 8, 2019

Hello all! It has been a hot minute since I last posted to my blog, and there’s a few reasons for that.

One, I was going through a rough patch. As you all know, I had a last minute trip to the mountains in February after a pretty severe suicidal episode. Shortly after, I was rediagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder, after thinking for years I was Bipolar II. This was a very confusing time for me, as I had never felt just how wrong things were until that episode. My way of thinking is so different from others and I don’t think that fact had really sunk in for me until that breaking point. It was the first time I was honest with myself, those around me, and medical professionals. Lots of emotions followed my last blog post – shame, internalized resentment, feeling out of place, isolation. It has not been an easy last 2 months, to say the least. This caused me to feel very uninspired to write, when really I should have been using this as a therapeutic time to write. But, such is life.

Second, I’ve honestly just been busy! I have been trying to travel and take as many trips as I can, plus my birthday was a few weeks ago as well. I’ve been busy taking care of myself as much as I know how to. I have been focusing on self care and giving myself the time I needed to heal a little bit after February’s shenanigans. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with that. As passionate as I am about this blog and being a mental health advocate, I also need to be a regular human who sometimes needs a break. Do I love writing? Yes! Do I love being honest with my ups and downs? You bet. But, there’s only so much of myself I can give to this blog and to others.

And lastly, I have not been able to find many Warriors for my Warrior of the Month segment. This has been frustrating in a few aspects, the main one being that I am saddened how little we open up about mental health still. The fact that people are still scared to share their struggles with people, especially their loved ones, makes me so upset. I hate that this is still an issue. As you all know, I believe it is so so important for people to be vocal about mental health, especially those who personally suffer. It is the only way this silly stigma will end. Time and time again, I reach out to multiple people on social media to see if anyone is willing to share their story, and 95% of the time, I do not get a response or get turned down. I also advertise a post looking for people, which also has a very low response. Why are we so dang scared to be authentically ourselves? There’s nothing wrong with us. We were born into something we did not wish for and are doing what we can do get by.

I am really planning on throwing myself more into my blog again with book reviews, monthly mental health discussions, and Warrior posts. I owe it to my followers and to myself to continue this never-ending journey. And I refuse to be silenced by anyone who still believes mental health is made up or an excuse or whatever else these people think. Mental illness is real and alive. Let’s keep breaking down the barriers and give them something to talk about.

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